Are You Busy?

"Are you busy?"  I'm often asked this. And I never know quite how to respond.

Back in my lawyering days, it was easy. I knew the code: Busy is good. Not busy is bad. So I gave the approved answer: "Yes." With that one word, I showed that I was a SUCCESS: a productive and worthy professional, much in demand by clients. This was great for my ego, even when untrue.

But for the past decade, I have tried to live a balanced life. I no longer cherish busy-ness. So now, when someone asks me, "Are you busy?", I should answer, "No," and thrust out my chest with pride. But usually I don't. Why not?

Because old habits die hard. "No" triggers a shiver of embarrassment, not just in me but in the other person. It's as if I'm admitting to a dark and shameful secret: I'm an idle layabout. Or worse: I'm so incompetent that nobody wants me.

So sometimes I cop out. I lie and say, "Yes, I'm busy."

Which is true in a sense, because a balanced life is still a full life. I don't spend my days lounging in a sun chair sipping pina coladas, as my former colleagues suspect. It's just that some of the things I do - things that I regard as central to my life - don't fall within their definition of "busy."

I agree