Do you feel inept and stumbling as you strive to move beyond career success? Be reassured: you are not alone! For most of us, overcoming the drivenness that makes us pursue success takes decades.
I've just finished a great book on this very theme. It describes the journey of a man who climbed to the pinnacle of his career, then realized that he wanted more from life.
Fortunately the author is intensely introspective and honest. He asks hard questions of himself, and is candid in disclosing his struggles in answering them.
The struggler is John McEnroe, and the book, You Cannot Be Serious. A few quotes will give you the flavor:
On the link between career success and happiness:
[Soon after winning my 4th US Open singles title] suddenly I thought, I'm the greatest tennis player who ever lived - why am I so empty inside?
On the irrational drive for recognition
I truly do wonder sometimes: Will I be totally forgotten at some point? Will I end up walking around wishing for what I don't have anymore? People always seem to want what they can't have, which seems a rather pathetic part of human nature to me. Will I be the guy going round saying, "Hey, remember me?"
On letting go of anger One of the things I'm striving to come to terms with is the deep-down part of me that isn't completely willing to give up my anger. After all, I feel certain that it's part of what drove me to the top, and though I may not be at the top of my game anymore, that fire in my belly is still hot. Where would I be if I let it out?
Self-discovery takes time: tennis megastars are not immune from this rule. John McEnroe has been on his quest for 20 years. His perseverance is finally paying off:
I'd had an unsuccessful marriage; I'd been humbled in ways other than the gradual, inevitable deterioration of my career. I'd worked, harder than I'd ever worked before, at making a new marriage, at being a father. At long last, I'd actually begun to find myself. With any luck, I had a lot of future left in me.
Stick with your quest, and you will find that you have a lot of future left in you too.
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