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Keys to a Full Life

March 3, 2004

He was flying from San Francisco to Philadelphia. As was his custom, he curled up and faced the window to avoid the need for conversation. But the balding sixty-year-old businessman next to him would not take the hint.

The traveler was a young psychology professor, Martin Seligman. Having been compelled to converse, he found himself discussing his work, which involved research into people who give up easily when faced with loss of control.  He had developed the theory of learned helplessness as a model for depression. Six years earlier (in 1976), he had won a distinguished award for this theory.

"Have you done much work on the other side of the coin?" his seatmate, a buoyant extravert, asked. "Can you predict who'll never give up and who won't become depressed no matter what you do to them?"

That question changed Seligman's career forever. Now a towering figure in modern psychology, he has focused his work not on pathology but on wellness. His research shows how to build a positive life.

Seligman is wise, funny, thoughtful, perceptive - and a superb story-teller to boot. If you haven't read any of his books, do so. My favorites are Learned Optimism (1991) and Authentic Happiness (2002).

In Authentic Happiness, Seligman distinguishes between the pleasant life, the good life, and the meaningful life. The pleasant life involves pursuing positive feelings: feelings about the past, feelings about the present, feelings about the future. The good life comes from using your "signature strengths" to gratify yourself in abiding ways. The meaningful life involves using those same strengths to serve something larger than you are. If you live all three lives, argues Seligman, then you are living a full life. (Authentic Happiness has an associated web-site: www.authentichappiness.com There you will find many questionnaires that are linked to chapters of the book.)

I've been writing BEYOND THE GRAVY for a year now, yet this is the first time I've mentioned Martin Seligman. That is surprising because I've learnt so much from him: for example, how to bounce back from setbacks. Just this week, I had cause, yet again, to use his methods. How else do you think I overcame the shattering disappointment on Oscar night of being the only New Zealander whom nobody thanked?